Toxic Positivity

Do you suffer from toxic positivity? If you do, then you feel uncomfortable when dealing with negative emotions. Many of us do, but the toxically positive person is obsessed with thinking everything will be okay. A positive spin should be applied to all experiences.

Here's a newsflash ... all the thinking in the world won't pay your mortgage if you don't have any money. Toxic positivity is a sort of reckless optimism that can damage so many areas of your life. The "mind over matter" approach doesn't always create the desired outcome.

Dealing with grief, trauma, or other negative emotions is vital to your mental health and well-being. To understand how damaging positivity poison can be, consider these negative side-effects of a toxically positive outlook.

1 – You Never See the Bus That's about to Hit You

Toxic positivity is an absolute refusal to face reality when things don't go your way. It's equivalent to standing in traffic when a bus is about to hit you. You can refuse the reality that something bad is about to happen, but that's not going to keep this from being a very bad day for you.

2 – You Develop an Optimism Bias

This is a term that is pretty much a synonym for toxic positivity. This person has such an unrealistically high level of optimism under any circumstances that he believes he's immune to negativity. His positive outlook will be a bulletproof shield that allows nothing bad to touch them.

If this person is a smoker, he might be well aware of the many health problems smoking can cause. His lack of concern because of his optimism bias can produce decades of smoking-related misery.

3 – Optimism - Realism = Potential Problems

Optimism is good. Untethered, runaway optimism without a realistic view of potential problems is a recipe for disaster. Keeping a positive viewpoint while accepting the reality of any situation is a good idea, as long as the positivity doesn't lead to ill-advised behavior.

4 – Unbridled Optimism Is Not a Magic Pill

Imagine that you have all the knowledge in the world. Then you sit back and do nothing. Knowledge can be very powerful, but not if you take no action. You also must act on reality rather than an ambitiously positive and fantastical view of a situation.

All the positive thinking in the world won't act as a magic bullet to cure your ills. You must take smart action grounded in reality based on preparation and knowledge, not just wishful thinking.

5 – A Shorter Lifespan

Medical data shows that most emergency room or doctor visits are stress-related. Did you know stress is linked to the six leading causes of death worldwide? Stress can be caused by hiding away negative feelings instead of dealing with them and getting them out of your system. That's the classic behavior of people who suffer from toxic positivity.

Don't ignore your negative feelings. The problems in your life need to be handled instead of simply turning your back on them. Whether financial, emotional, or physical, you need to meet them head-on and with a realistic viewpoint rather than a potentially poisonous positivity that can cause more problems.

The Telltale Signs of Toxic Positivity

If you see a one-gallon jug containing half a gallon of water, how do you view it? Is it half-full? Is it half-empty? The answer to that question is used in the most basic psychological tests to reveal how you look at the world.

The person that sees the gallon container as halfway to being full is supposedly a positive thinker. The opposite is true for the person who believes the container to be half-empty. Your opinion could be different depending on your attitude, recent experiences, and several other variables.

Even so, it brings to mind the question of positive thinking versus a more negative outlook. Most people will tell you positive thinking is the way to go. It's the path to success. Think positively always, and the world will bend to your will.

While a lot of good things come from a positive attitude, totally embracing positivity even when life is difficult isn't always the best choice. You might suffer from toxic positivity if you believe you should act positively no matter how dire, dangerous, or demanding your current experience is. Here are a few signs that your mental well-being and other aspects of your life are negatively impacted by your rosy disposition.

You Ignore Your Problems

"Think positive and positive things will happen to you." This is the advice of so many self-help gurus. They encourage you never to give in to negative emotions. The problem with this way of thinking is it doesn't allow you to solve the many problems that will pop up in your life.

Ignoring negative experiences doesn't make them go away. You have to deal with them, learn from them and move past them. Closing your eyes and thinking positively in the face of a hungry, charging lion probably won't lead to the best outcome.

You Develop Guilt and Self-Resentment

Toxic positivity doesn't allow you to recognize the full scope of human emotions. You realize you're sad about something, so immediately chastise yourself. You're disappointed about something and immediately feel guilty for those negative feelings. You can never be your truest and most fulfilled self without embracing the reality of your emotions and becoming stronger by working through them.

You Minimize and Downplay the Feelings of Others

Your constantly positive attitude makes you feel uncomfortable around people experiencing negative emotions. No one wants to spend time around somebody who downplays their feelings.

You Disguise How You Really Feel

Putting on a false face makes you a lie to the world. It also lets debilitating stress build up instead of letting it out by processing less-than-favorable emotions.

There are a lot of signs that toxic positivity is present. Sometimes we act that way to ourselves and sometimes to others. It's often unintentional. Even when it's not a purposeful action, it can be so damaging. Keep your eyes open for the signs of toxic positivity we just covered. Whether you see them in yourself or others, try to change that way of thinking or simply remove yourself from the situation.

Toxic Positivity Versus Empowering Rational Optimism

"Look on the bright side." That's just one of many pieces of advice that extoll the power of positive thinking. Bad things will happen to you. There's no denying that. You can't always control your life experience.

What you can always control is your reaction to that event or situation. That simple five-word recommendation tells you to choose positive thinking rather than drowning in whatever negative emotions you experience when life doesn't go your way.

That can be good advice. It can also be dangerous when taken to an extreme.

Positive thinking is usually a good thing. The most successful people in the world will tell you they didn't get where they are today by constantly thinking negative thoughts. The potential danger of this outlook is when it becomes a zero-sum game.

This is called toxic positivity. There's no acceptance of painful or difficult experiences. Think positive! Keep going! No matter how tough your situation is, keep a positive mindset! Here are a few reasons why this toxic positivity, as opposed to the empowerment of rational, positive thinking, can cause serious problems in your life.

Toxic Positivity Ignores Reality

Imagine you've fallen into a great hole. Invent any type of scenario that leads up to this eventuality, but the reality is you're at the bottom of a huge hole.

You're in the middle of nowhere. Your well-intentioned date with Mother Nature has turned nasty. You can scream your head off, but no one will hear you.

You console yourself that you had been walking on a nature trail when the ground gave way beneath your feet. Your toxic positivity says that someone will be by before long to rescue you.

You know there are lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) In the area. You understand this trail is not well-traveled. That's why you chose it. You wanted some alone time in the wilderness. You also didn't bring any water, food, or other provisions.

Even still, you nestle down comfortably and await your inevitable rescue.

The ignorance of your very dire circumstances could lead to your eventual demise, and in this situation, probably with a smile on your face.

Choose Positive and Realistic Thinking Instead

The positive thinker says, "I can get out of here. I know this might look like a difficult situation right now, but if I use my head and keep my wits, I can figure a way out."

That person begins digging, climbing, and doing whatever he can to improve the situation. He thinks positively but not unrealistically. He knows he had better aggressively attacked the situation right away rather than just have a seat and hope for the best.

We're not here to say that you should embrace negative thinking. That's a quick path to a life full of self-doubt, failure, and resentment. We just want to alert you to the very real dangers of toxic positivity. You must embrace negative events and emotions, deal with them, and move on. Ignorance of reality or any negative situation you are in won't usually lead to the best possible outcome.

4 Ways to Defeat Toxic Positivity

How can positivity be toxic? Can positive people potentially poison themselves and others with a relentlessly upbeat outlook? How are you supposed to get over life's many difficulties if you don't adopt a positive attitude?

Those are often questions asked by a person suffering from toxic positivity.

This type of individual simply can't see reality if it's negative in nature. They adopt a "can do" attitude no matter how terrifically difficult or potentially dangerous a situation is. They believe an optimistic approach to life can heal all ills and even prevent tragedy from appearing in the first place.

This view of life through rose-colored glasses raises the risk of developing stress-related illnesses. This person ignores negative emotions and problems that need to be dealt with. There are plenty of negative side effects caused by toxic positivity. Here are four proven ways to keep this overly positive outlook from causing damage in your life.

1 – Practice Mindfulness

This is more than being objectively mindful and aware of your current situation. Take a few moments and think about how you're feeling. What's going on in your mind and in your body? Don't give voice to any particular thought or feeling. Just notice your present moment of existence.

Don't judge any of your feelings. Acknowledge negative and positive emotions, and then move on. This can help you realize that all feelings are equal, and ignoring negative emotions can aggravate a difficult situation.

2 – Feel Your Feelings

Your emotions are yours. You're feeling them right now for a reason. It doesn't mean you're less of a man if you cry. You aren't less of a woman if expressing emotions is difficult for you. You are who you are, and your feelings are your feelings. Recognize and process them without ignoring all but the happiest of emotions.

3 – Is Your Positive View Totally Contrarian?

If the whole world sees a situation one way and you disagree, you might be right. Establishing a new and controversial viewpoint has led to some of life's greatest discoveries. In many cases, it's toxic positivity refusing to let you deal with reality.

4 – Be More Childlike

Children don't hold back their feelings. They live life as naturally as possible. The youngest children allow their emotions to have a life. They don't respond to negative stimuli with positivity and vice versa. They experience life as their minds and emotions naturally respond.

The first step to preventing toxic positivity is awareness. You realize a constantly positive outlook might be a problem, proven by the fact that you're reading this article. That's the first step to limiting your life with toxic positivity.